Tears to Triumph: How to Navigate Grief and Uplift Yourself & Others

If you have been following us for any amount of time you know very well, these three things: 1. We work really hard on our marriage and because of that, we have the best marriage in the world. 2. We prayed and worked really hard to grow our family. 3. The success of the first two was because we figured out early on how to turn our Tears into Triumphs, regardless of the outcome.

The strange thing for most (us included) is that for many of those challenges, setbacks, and pains, is that for some reason we thought it would be a good idea to film it all, edit it, and upload it for the world to see… in real time. You saw our ups and downs, and out of privacy, there was even crazier stuff that happened that we've never shared with you. Some things were harder to process out in the open than others.

Truth is, everyone goes through a myriad of hard times. And, I’d bet the reality is, you're probably going through something right now, too. It may not be similar to us or completely opposite. It may be a marriage issue, it may be a family issue, it may be a work issue, it may be a health issue, it may be just something deep inside that you've never even shared with anybody. ~~~~

And so today, I wanted to spend a minute, reading some of God's word to you and Offering to you what I really feel like is beneficial and encouraging to you. And I hope that this is something that blesses you today.

FIRST ILLUSTRATION OF JESUS WEEPING: LAZARUS

in Isaiah 53 verses 3 through 6 It says he was despised and rejected by men.

He was and it says this in his word. He was a man of sorrows acquainted with Grief He had like the deepest grief of his life. If you like read the rest of that passage, it just kind of goes on to preemptively

point to the pain that Jesus would eventually experience going to the cross. He carries the grief. for his children and with his children. And he carries your grief. And yet, because he's been through pain, he goes and can feel the pain of others. This affliction and bruising and chastisement that we see the Prophet Isaiah say that Jesus will eventually go through is, is really a piece of his, of his self is that God is a father who has all kinds of wisdom and all kinds of generosity and all kinds of creativity and all types of answers.

And yet, in the midst of us being broken, in the midst of being in pain, he doesn't just say, you're going to be okay. He doesn't just say. I'm sorry. We experience God all throughout scripture, all throughout [00:02:00] scripture, he's the God of the He takes on the sin of the world and he hears and he doesn't just say I'm gonna fix it but he says in that moment I'm gonna be with you. And so three things, um, three, three very specific stories about Jesus and Not just him hearing, but actually speaking to the Father and weeping.

And I want to share with you three really fundamental stories about the Bible, about Jesus weeping and teaching you today that it's okay to weep. It's okay to grieve. It's okay to be a man and be strong and valiant and courageous and still have hard days. It's okay to be a woman that feels lonely and frustrated and she grieves.Or to be a couple who goes through. The death of a dream every single month. The pain that you go through in your life, the things that you have in your past, eventually become the ways that you minister to others. It became that for us. We had experienced deep pain and it allowed us to be the ones who hear your pain and encourage you in the midst of ours. It allows you to rise above. in a way that is not selfish. And so we see in John 11: 35, this first example, and it just says in two words, the shortest verse in the Bible, Jesus wept. And this was speaking to his friend Lazarus, who had heard the news that he had died. And he goes to Mary and Martha gives them compassion. And He grieves even though He knows the end of the story. Which is really important.

SECOND ILLUSTRATION OF JESUS WEEPING: THE GARDEN OF GETHSEMANE

The second time we experience Jesus weeping is in Hebrews chapter 5 verse 7 It says this in the days of his flesh Meaning Jesus, while Jesus was alive, he offered up prayers and supplications with loud cries and tears to him who was able to save him from death, which was his father, God. Most likely, Scholars say that this was in the Garden of Gethsemane. He offers up prayers, and he knows what's coming. He knows the will that the Father has put him to, and even though he wants to be rescued and not have to die this human death on the cross, which at the time crucifixion was one of the most painful things that a human could ever experience.

And so, he goes to God and weeps. He says, be possible, let this cup pass over me. I don't want to have to go through this, but he knows that he has to. And that speaks to you too. Some of the [00:05:00] trials that you will go through, you have to go through them in order to grow. That pain is a temporary feeling, and you will get through it if you don't go around it. And my encouragement in that is, don't wish the pain away. Wish that God would use the pain to grow you today.

3rd ILLUSTRATION OF JESUS WEEPING: THE TRIUMPHAL ENTRY

And the third is Luke chapter 19 verse 41. It was the days before his crucifixion and he's looking over from the hill over Jerusalem and he knows what's coming. He knows that there's this, there is this celebration the triumphal entry and that celebration will eventually turn to something that they did not understand.

They were celebrating this Messiah that had come, not knowing that he would then [00:06:00] soon die and then be away from them.

And so what does this mean to us? And so what does this mean to us?

WHAT DOES THIS TEACH US?

1. Go to their pain, Show Compassion & Empathy by listening

when you know someone is hurting, don't just say, Hey, I hope you're okay. Don't just brush them aside and send them a text and say, I'm sorry.

Go to them, hear their pain, enter into it, show them compassion and empathy. Compassion is telling someone you're sorry and meaning it. Empathy is going to them . and living in that grief with them. We have done that for so many people through our lives, just sitting in a room hugging and holding people that were in pain. And others have done that for us, which is how we learned how to do it for others.

And we go back to Genesis 16, El Ro’i, when Hagar is given a child by the name of Ishmael, she responds to God calling him “The One Who Sees.” And that's the kind of father we have, is to know and trust that we do have someone that knows us, hears us, and does something about it. If you're grieving,

2. LOOK FOR A SAFE PERSON // No Shame In Grieving

The second thing I can tell you is look for a safe person. And then become that safe person for others. I tell my kids this all the time. I tell my wife this all the time. We have to model the, I'm sorrys if we ever expect people to learn to change and have a sincere heart. And so we will often be ones that openly say, Hey, I'm so sorry. I'm the first to apologize in my family. And the reason is because I want them to know that I'm sincere. I want them to know that when the time comes, if I hurt someone or if they're hurting me, that they can come to me and say, Hey, I'm sorry. And now that's just for an action that I've done to them or they've done to me, but to come to someone and just mean it and say, I feel the pain that you are feeling. That is what can begin the process of healing. There's no shame in grieving. There's no shame in crying. We just went over three examples of Jesus physically crying in the Bible. Weeping, lamenting with passion and pain

3. Turn to God in Prayer

The third thing that you guys can do is just turn to God in prayer. Confess your pain, your weakness, your struggles, your hurts.

4. Read God’s Word

Read God's word, get into God's word and read this Bible, this manual, this book for life that is truly meant for you. It is a love letter to you from God himself to say that I am the father who looks down on you and loves you.

And I know that you will go through pain because it is predetermined that our sin causes more pain. And so the more that we fall away and the more that we are farther from God, the more pain we will experience.

But in Psalm 119: 105, a verse that many people know, says, your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path. God's word here. Is the way that we will experience wisdom in the midst of our crisis, in the midst of our pain, and in the midst of our journey. So, if you know someone that's hurting, go to them.

If you are hurting, look for a safe person. If you are that person that's grieving, go to God in prayer. Lament. Pour yourself out. Amen. Be confessional with a sincere heart and say, God, you know, all that I'm already going through. I really, really, really need you now. I'd love to teach a whole thing and just sit down with you guys and show you about, um, how to pray and how to talk with God and how to have a walk with God.

If you're interested in that, please leave that in the comments. I'm working on so many different things right now that I think is going to truly bless your life, is going to grow your family, it's going to increase the blessings that you will have in the future of your life.

I really genuinely believe it. I just want to tell you lastly, be encouraged. You're not alone. We've been saying that for years. You're not alone. There is a purpose for your pain. There is an absolute purpose for your pain. God sees you. He hears you. El Roy. He is the God that sees and at the same time he sees you weep.

He hears and he goes running to you. This is the story of a father who would run to us in the midst of our own brokenness and sin.

I want to encourage you with this. It's okay to not be okay. It's okay to not be okay, but one day know that it is going to get easier and you will grow and it will be okay. And the time span between the pain and the eventual healing may be a day, a week, a month, a year, ten years, a lifetime. But one day, maybe not even here on earth, you will find healing.

And I promise you that. You guys. You're loved. This world is so full of brokenness and pain and hate. And I want to bring you guys life. I want to love you guys. I want to remind you of why you're loved. I want to give you guys encouragement.

And finally there's a song in our family that we listen to a lot. We listen to this artist that is such a great role model for my girls. Her name is Ann Wilson and the song is called Just Be Held.

She does it with Casting Crowns, and I want to encourage you guys to listen to that song And furthermore, we have a playlist that's been ongoing for years and years and years. We've shown it publicly There's hundreds of you that have subscribed to this Spotify playlist, but it is called our hope for the waiting and in this moment, um, the hurting and the broken, um, friends, I, I thought to be honest with you that I was going to be able to do this in 90 seconds, uh, cause that's how long a reel is supposed to be. But I think this just turned out to be a video and I think I'm okay with that.

I really, really, really felt like I just got slammed this morning with this message that he is a God who sees your pain and he hears and he runs to you, does not judge you for the things that you're conflicted with in life. Oh, this is even freeing for me.

Friends, you are loved.